Thursday, December 20, 2012

Happy birthday baby girl....

Hello Dearies....

Today has been a bittersweet day for me.

It's Midget's birthday! I can't believe my baby girl is 11! Yesterday she told me she's an adult. My response? Get a job!

I was in such a bad place when I found out I was pregnant with Midget. I had just taken my 2 sons and left my husband. It was the right move, but I did it wrong. I moved from Deadbeat's house in with Fatass. Looking back at the hell I put my kids through with that man makes me want to cry.

I didn't have my head on right when I found out I was pregnant. I begged Fatass to take me to the clinic so I could get rid of the baby. I had my 2 boys, I didn't want anymore kids. The only thing Fatass ever did right in his lifetime was to tell me no. I know it was harsh. I know it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. I know some of you will judge me. 

Since I was due on Christmas eve, the doctor asked if I wanted to have her early. With 2 small boys at home, I didn't want to be in the hospital on Christmas. There's no way I would have left them alone with Fatass's family on Christmas. Those people were and still are horrible people.  

So I called the Parental Figures and asked them to take me to the hospital. 

I got the date wrong! I went it at midnight on the 20th. I was supposed to be there at midnight on the 21st!

Since I was close enough to labor (I wouldn't have made it to the 21st) they took me in. A little over 9 hours later I held the most beautiful baby girl in my arms.

She is my saving grace. She is my angel. I sit here crying thinking I almost threw way the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. 

Today I was able to help 2 families in need.

I signed up for a gift card exchange. You can read a little about it here. I was given the name of a mom in AZ. I searched her name on Facebook. She has 4 beautiful little girls (one a newborn) and a very handsome little guy. I wasn't able to help much. But I gave what I could. The Boy also bought a gift card to send to her. He's such an awesome kid!

Last week a Facebook friend  posted that he had been screwed over by a "friend". Since I can't/won't call him by the name everyone knows him by, I will call him Inkie. I was heartbroken when I heard Inkie couldn't buy presents his youngest son. 

I had an idea brewing. I kinda kept it a secret from Chief. When I bought the money order for the exchange, I bought a 2nd one too. Tonight I stopped by Inkie's business and took the card in. I handed the card to the girl that greeted me and ran out.

Believe it or not, but Madwoman is painfully shy. I hate meeting new people, and I hate being in a crowd. Crowds can throw me into a panic attack. One on one meeting makes me fumble over my words and I end up looking like a complete fool.

I called Chief while on break today. I had given in a couple of weeks ago and agreed to let the Wicked Witch take Midget tonight for her birthday. I told Midget and it's all I've heard for 2 weeks. That and the constant chatter about her birthday. 

The Wicked Witch had called and cancelled on Midget! Fuck fuck fucktty fuck! I had planned around this. We're going to MiL's tomorrow. Sharky is making the cake....tomorrow. What the hell am I supposed to do now?

The Boy to the rescue again. Chatty and the Boy took Midget and I to Wal Hell to let her shop for her birthday gifts. Then they took us to the Mexican restaurant. The guys there brought out a sombrero and dessert for Midget. They sang "Happy birthday" to her and rubbed whipped cream on her face. (I wouldn't let them shove a pie in her face.) Midget was so tickled getting all the special treatment.  

Have I mentioned how proud I am of the Boy? He's such a great kid and so giving. Damn I did something right there!

Good night Dearies, it's time to go play Santa and wrap, wrap, wrap....

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

That's not intense that's OMFG RED!

Hello Dearies....

Today has been eventful to say the least. Being it was my day off, I went back to bed after the crotchfruitians went to school. Well, soon after they left. The Parental Figures has doctor appointments today, so the Boy came here after work. We sat around a few minutes talking about his night and I sent him to Bird's room so I could go back to sleep.

I had an amazing morning with Chief. We slept in til 11:30! I never get to sleep that long....ever. 

While at Wal Hell yesterday I bought hair color. I couldn't find my normal color, so I tried a different brand. I knew I was in trouble when Chief walked in and asked why my head looked like a fruit platter. I was almost scared to wash it out. Light intense auburn my ass! That shit was neon, glow-in-the-dark RED! 

I really think Chief hurt himself laughing at me. MiL was coming over soon to take him to Wal Hell to get his insulin (more about that later) so I hitched a ride. I pulled my flaming OMFG it's red hair back and pulled my hood low and off we went.

After getting a few things for dinner the Boy and I went over to the hair care aisle. I picked a light brown thinking it'd tone down the red.

Boy was I ever wrong. In fact I don't think I've ever been more wrong. My hair is now a dark, neon, glow-in-the-dark, OMFG it's red shade.

I had Chief call my niece Clipper. I was in the back ground screaming "HELP ME". Clipper says she will be here tomorrow after work to fix my hair.

Guess who gets to go to work with dark, neon, glow-in-the-dark, OMFG it's red hair? Fuck fuck fucktty fuck!

A few days ago I read a blog from Mommyland. She had posted about a gift card exchange. The light bulb went off over my head. I've been looking for a way to "pay it forward" this year. This was perfect! I got my e-mail yesterday! I was given the name of a woman with 5 kids in AZ. I'm so excited to help this woman. I talked to the Boy and he's going to help.

The only problem is this is going to cut into my funds for MY kids. I sat the crotchfruitians down tonight and had a talk. I told them about this woman and her 5 kids, and how she doesn't have a lot of money to send Santa for presents. I asked them if they'd be ok with getting a few less presents so we could send her money for Santa. I watched as they thought about it. I was so proud when they both agreed that we needed to send the money. Midget even wanted to give them the money from her piggy bank. I felt like the Grinch when his heart started to swell. My kids may not listen very well, but they all have a heart of gold.

We're also planning a trip to the food bank or animal shelter to help out. I'm pushing more for the shelter because I tend to like animals more then I like people.

While I made dinner the fruitians wrote their letters to Santa. They only asked for 4 things each. All well within my budget. Will there be more then 4 presents under the tree? Of course, but this year they'll have what they asked for plus extra for being such great kids.

Midget's birthday is coming up. She'll be 11 on the 20th. I called Sharky (Chief's sister) to ask about something for the Boy. Midget was in the kitchen yelling at me to ask Sharky to make her birthday cake. Poor Sharky, she has to come up with some pink, shiny, girlie, princess cake. 

With Christmas coming up, Bosslady has a secret Santa planned. I forgot today was the day they were drawing names. I called and talked Mouth into pulling Breadboy's name for me. He told me his feelings were hurt last year when his was the last name picked. I'm going to have a hell of a time picking something out for Breadboy, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let his feelings get hurt again.

It's time for this Whovian to get snuggly with it and watch tv with the Chief.

If I don't get to say it before then....Merry Christmas Dearies!  

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

An "explosive" kind of day....

Hello Dearies....

If you're grossed out easily you might want to stop reading now....

Yesterday was a day to end all days. It started out with me finding that Bird had puked all over the carpet in his room. Wonderful! A sick kid to start my day. I left him in bed and went to get ready for work.

For a guy, Bird has a very weak stomach. Anything spicy or heavy will cause him to throw up. He also has chronic constipation. So if he's constipated he'll throw up. So me waking up to puked on carpet is not a biggie. Wipe up (cover with a towel) the spot and break out the steamer when I get home. See no biggie, right?

Oh no not this time. Not the time I decide to go ahead and go to work.

Work was pretty good right up til the time the phone rang. Beanpole hands me the phone with a very upset Chief on the other end. Seems Bird didn't just have an upset tummy....he was sick!

Chief is fit to be tied. He keeps telling me Bird exploded all over the place. I pretty much write it off and tell him I'll try to get out of work. I could use an extra day of rest.

It doesn't take long for Chief to call back again. Not only is Bird puking, he's shitting his brains out. (I think I cleaned them up when I got home later) 

When I do get to go on break, Chief demands I come home. I go inside and tell Boss how bad Bird really is, and that if Chief calls again I need to take Bird to the ER. 

Halfway through my day, I find myself rushing out the door and damn near running home to take care of my baby.

Mom, the Boy and Chatty went with us to the ER. Poor Bird was so pale. 

After about 2 hours we were sent to Cardinal Glennon in St Louis.  While at the childrens  hospital I learned something I hadn't known before....a child with explosive diarrhea can shit on you from 3 feet away. While cleaning Bird up, he farted and shit all down my leg and shoe from 3 feet away. This is 3 feet people! 3 feet! Thankfully the nurses brought me scrubs. 

After several hours Bird was released and we sat in the waiting room until Chief got there. I really wish he had been feeling better as we left. It was both of our first time to watch a helicopter take off.  

An hour long trip home, grab some McD's, hug and kiss the Boy and thank him for helping, pick up Midget from the Parental Figure's, stuff my face with nasty greasy food, and crash!

Today, I've spent my morning scrubbing the toilet and tub. Cleaning all the puke and shit off the bed, walls (yes walls) and carpets in Bird's room. I still have a mountain of shit covered laundry I need to wash....sigh

Saturday, December 1, 2012

One of those days....

Hello Dearies....

Ever have one of "those" days? The kind of day where you wake up and think you should just say fuck it. Today was that day for me.

Things started out pretty good. I got some sleep last night. No bad dreams or stress keeping my mind from shutting down. The Hut wasn't too cold or Mordor hot. So I got some decent sleep. That always makes the day go better. Not today....

I wasn't due into work until 11. It was going to make for a short easy day for me....I thought. About 9 the phone rang and Chief turns to me and says "You're in the shower" That always means work is on the other end. I can hear Booslady on the other end telling Chief I was late for work. What? No I'm not, I don't have to be there for another 2 hours. Wrong!

I had written my schedule down wrong. I was supposed to be at work at 8:30. Fuck fuck fuckkty fuck!

So I run in and take the fastest shower in history, get dressed and run out the door. I called Bosslady on the way. She told me it was no big deal and to get there as fast as I could. 

I don't think I've ever gotten to work that fast.

I clock in and drop my stuff in the break room. Bosslady tells me to go send Taylor Dane (her daughter) on break.  The Ass figured I wasn't having a crappy enough time and starts mumbling behind me about getting to work an hour late. I also found out I was going to be the Guest Ambassador. This is a job I have lovingly nicknamed the BK Bitch. Fuck fuck fucktty fuck!

It's not like being the BKB is hard. I walk around wiping down the tables and helping the customers. It's BORING! I say the same few phrases over and over.

So a few hours into my shift I ask the Ass about taking my break. He tells me no. So I go back to work. An hour goes by and I've had it. I need a pain pill (my knees were screaming) and I wanted a cigarette. So I said something to the Ass again. There's a reason I call him the Ass. He goes into an extended lecture about how I came into work late and all I'm doing is walking around cleaning tables....blah blah blah. After a few minutes I get pissed and tell him if I can't take a break then I want to go smoke. Again I get a no.   I can't remember what I snapped back at him but Bosslady heard me. 

Now I've never been "talked" to by Bosslady. I'm always there on time and I do my job. Yes I joke around, but I always do what I'm supposed to. Bosslady asked if I was in a bad mood. I was then told that when the Ass is being, well an ass, I'm supposed to tell him that I don't like the way he's talking to me.

Really? Have you met him? I really wish Bosslady could hear the way the Ass talks to me. I'm told daily that I'm worthless, I can't do my job, he's going to find someone else to replace me....If I'm so worthless and can't do my job, then why do they keep putting me on the busiest shifts? Why am I one of only 5 people that can do every job there?

One of these days I'm going to clock that man....