Thursday, June 28, 2012

What's "normal" got to do with the price of tea in a clean bath tub

Good evening Dearies....

So my last blog reflected my sleep deprived mind shutting down. I was so tired through that whole blog. I'm still tired, but a little more awake now.

I was Facebooking when I ran into another Autism page. Those of you who know the Tribe, know that Bird is Autistic. We are huge supporters for anything to do with Autism. My next tattoo is going to start with the Autism Speaks puzzle piece logo. Seeing that page reminded me....

A few days ago Breadboy and I were talking and he asked me if I wished that Bird was "normal". Coming from some people I would have been offened. Breadboy didn't mean any harm. I asked him to explain what normal was. He couldn't. I explained that to me Bird was normal. He wouldn't be Bird if he was any different or "normal". I do wish Bird had an easier time, but he's so special and I love him so much....just the way he is.

I saw this picture from Four Sea Stars....( You can read her blog here)

I tried reading the poem to Chief and started crying. That's what I am, I am an Autism Strong Mom! So be prepared to hear a lot of Autism blogs from me.

Midget was served her punishment tonight for using half of a bar of soap last night. She scrubbed the tub. Before anyone freaks out about harmfull chemicals and kids, I don't use them and I wouldn't let me child near that crap. I mixed up a very safe cleaner for her. It's vinegar, hot water and Dawn dish soap (see safe). She could have drank the whole bottle and all she would have gotten was a clean mouth and maybe the poops. So I hand Midget a rag, a scrub brush, the bottle of cleaner, some baking soda and I set her loose on the soap scum. I figured with Chief and the Boy being here I was pretty safe to lay down and try to catch up on some sleep. (See the last blog on why I needed sleep here) She came out in 5 minutes and declared "Done". Oh no you're not, get in there! So I get up and go check. She'd gotten the bottom of the tub, but not the sides. So I gave her more baking soda and a few tips and laid back down. About a half an hour later I sent the Boy in to check on her. She missed the whole lesson. It was totally lost on her. She had cleaned the tub (and it looked good) but for some reason Midget decided that my foam paint brushes would help. (sigh) I sent her to her room until dinner. We'll discuss her next step tomorrow when I've had time to think (read plot) on what to do with her.

There will be no more slipping in our tub. Midget could pour a whole bottle of shampoo on the tub floor and no one would slip. I bought tub stickies yesterday and put them down after the tub dried. I'm pretty proud of the design.

All work no play....

Hello from Burger King my Dearies....

So, I'm sitting here at work with Doughboy. Things are slow and I'm ahead on everything (I think). I agreed to work overnights to help out the Ass. Today was his birthday. I really hate nights, I never sleep during the day. The Boy woke me up around 11am, and I've been up ever since. Thank goodness for energy drinks!

Doughboy has spent the past hour and half either talking or sitting in the office. If he thinks I'm going to do everything tonight he is dead ass wrong.

I wasn't upset that the Boy woke me up. It's always nice when he comes over. He annoys me by trying to take over everything. If I go down to do laundry he grabs the baskets from me, same with bags from the store. He's very sweet to help, but I'm far from helpless!

Chief is feeling a little bit better from his fall. He's able to get up without help. Poor guy, I know he's in pain.

Midget dicided to play in the tub....again! She used almost half of a brand new bar of soap. I warned her what would happen if she did, but she never listens to me. So tomorrow after school, she's scrubbing the tub. That works for me, I bought some of those non-slip stickers for the tub today. It has to be clean before I apply them.

Bird was pretty good tonight, he stayed in his room playing PlayStation all evening. I could hear him in there humming and rocking.

I guess I had best go ask Doughboy what all I'm supposed to be doing and get everything done, then I can blog without feeling so guilty for sitting on my ass at work.

3am....someone shoot me!

So far Doughboy have managed to do an hour worth of work. I'm still ahead on my work. How did such a lazy man get to be manager?

So now I'm home and beat! I hate working over nights. The Ass came in early to do scheduling. He offered to let me off on the 4th if I'd work overnights on the 3rd. Great! The 4th is Squealers birthday. Maybe we'll be able to celebrate with her.

Work got crazy toward the end. I couldn't keep up and got behind. I stayed an extra half an hour to make sure dayshift was set. Now I'm home and going to bed...

Holy hell! It's a tiny apartment you DO NOT need to knock on the door like the cops. Fedex dropped off my new camera charger. He made me sit straight up in bed when he beat on the damn door. Chief and I got about 3-4 hours of sleep.(He stayed up all night so he could sleep with me today) I've been up less then an hour and I'm ready to go back to bed....

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Crash! Bang! OW!

Hello Dearies, it's been a pretty interesting morning....

The Chief wasn't feeling very good when we went to bed last night. He got up around 4:30 this morning sick, and decided to take a shower. I dozed back off after he got out of bed. At my age getting every last second of sleep that you can is important!

So there I am sleeping peacefully when I hear "CRASH! BANG! OW!" I jump up out of bed and run for the bathroom. I ran face first into the baby gates we use to keep the Terrorist from peeing in the hallway. I had a moment of panic when I couldn't find the lever to take down the gate. I realized that Chief had put it up backwards. So I throw the top gate out of the way and rush in the bathroom. I threw back the shower curtain, and had a second of confusion when Chief wasn't on his shower stool. I look at him on the floor of the shower, and he grins up at me and waves. He's smiling and I'm freaking thinking he's busted his head open. He's lucky I didn't pee myself right there. I helped (what little he'd let me) and got him out of the tub and back into bed. My poor Chief, had been reaching for the soap and his feet had slipped out from under him. Remember my last blog, when I told you Midget had a thing about playing in the soap and shampoo? Well, guess who was the last one in the tub last night? The tub floor is as slick as snot.

Chief posted a blog on his view of the now infamous shower scene....
I had about 10 minutes before the alarm went off, so we laid back down. I got back up at 5:30 and started the morning routine. Get up, walk 3 steps, plop down in my chair and load up Facebook. After a while I woke up enough to go grumble at the crotch-fruit to get up and get ready. By this time I had forgotten about Chief falling in the tub and damn near busted my own ass when I took my shower.

I got to work and asked the new guy (still no cool blog name) if he'd trade hours if Bosslady was ok with it. I really do love my job. New Guy was more then ok with working my hours and Bosslady didn't have any problem with me going home early. After coming home early the other day this is going to sting come payday, but I was able to bring Chief some much needed food and be here if he needed anything.

I got home and fed Chief and called around to get a heating pad before I dozed off at my computer. Chief felt sorry for me and let me lay down after promising to wake me up if he needed me. I dozed off a little bit before the Boy called and came by with a heating pad. Chief is now sitting in his huge comfy chair with the heating pad on his back and playing ToR. The Boy is looking at me with hopeful eyes wanting to get on my laptop. And I, my Dearies, I need to go downstairs and wash some of the stink from my uniform....

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is dead, pay me in ice cream

Good evening Dearies....

I had an unexpected visitor tonight. I was getting ready to make dinner when the Boy knocked on my door. I hadn't seen or heard from him in a week! I was having with drawls. He walks in and announces "Guess who moved?" That's right, the Boy now lives 2-3 blocks from me! I'm one happy momma.

So the Chief, Boy and I sit down the talk. Seems the Wicked Witch threw the Boy out this weekend because he didn't want to go to the college she picked out for him. Let's backtrack here for a minute.

For those of you who don't know, the Boy got into trouble about 3 years ago. (my stars has it been that long already?) He was locked up for a while, then had to move in with the Others. The Others are his sperm donor's parents.

So the Wicked Witch took the Boy to Branson to look at the college. The Boy said it was a nice place, but didn't want to go to a school that shoved religion down your throat. It's his choice. When he told the Wicked Witch. she got her panties in a wad and told him to move out. Now this is the same woman that has done everything under the sun to take my kids away from me, ever since I left Deadbeat. She did manage to get the Boy from me. Well not from me, but she did her best. Now because he doesn't like the college of HER choice she threw him out.

What did she expect taking in a 16 year old boy? Did she think she was going to "raise" him? Yes, in fact she did and boy was she ever wrong. Thing is, I already raise the Boy. He is MY child. I am the only person he ever had, ever. I was the only person who was there for him growing up. (until I met Chief)  She took him in her house thinking she was going to change him, mould him into the "perfect" son, just like Deadbeat. Sorry Witchy-poo that's my baby boy. Any of you who have met the Boy know he is my mini-me.

So the Wicked Witch threw my son out. Awesome! Wonderful!

She couldn't have given me a better present. See.....the Wicked Witch and the Others have made no effort to see the Midget or Bird since Christmas eve. That tells me they don't want anything to do with the little spawn. I no longer have to deal with that woman. She no longer controls when I get to see the Boy, so I no longer have to kiss her fake ass. I'm sorry (not really) but there is nothing in my divorce that says I have to let her see my crotch fruit. Deadbeat moved to WV to avoid child-support, he's not here to come pick up the kids and take them to see the Others. Are you getting what I'm saying here?

Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead!!!!

While the Boy was here I sent Midget to take a shower. She comes out and I go over the mother list....
Me: Did you wash your hair?
Midget: Yes.
Me: Did you use shampoo?
Midget:  Yes 
Me: Did you wash your body?
Midget: Yes 
Me: Did you use soap?
Midget: No, I used shampoo.
UGH! I sent her back in to wash using soap. I can hear her in there splashing while I'm getting Bird, Chief and myself ice cream, so I go check. There are about 6 inches of suds on the bottom of the tub. UGH! She had used half a bottle of shampoo playing. I tell her to turn the water on rinse off and get out, and go back to my ice cream. The Midget does as I said and goes in her room to dry off and get dressed, then came out for her ice cream.....
Midget: Where's my ice cream?
Me: Remember when I told you I couldn't afford for you to use all the soap and shampoo playing?
Midget: (dropping her head) Yes.
Me: Well from now on you are going to pay me every time you waste something like the soap and shampoo. Tonight you will pay me in ice cream, next time you are scrubbing the tub.

The look on her face was priceless. She knew she had been had.

Remember youngest crotch fruit, I was born, but I wasn't born last night and you can't pull one over on your ole mom.

Boot camp and old age.

Happy Sunday Dearies....

Do you know what happens when you go to work and try to get everything done early? You succeed, and get sent home early. That's what happened to me today. I was trying to get everything done this morning so I could have an easy afternoon. Since everything was done and we were slow-ish I got sent home 3 1/2 hours early. Most days I would have thrown a fit about leaving early (it's going to sting come payday) but today I just wasn't feeling it. I wanted to come home and spend the day with the Chief and crotch fruit. I've been home for about an hour and the fruit haven't come out of the bedroom from playing PlayStation, so they don't know I'm here. That means the Chief and I are getting a little bit of quiet time. Guess how we're spending it? He's on his blog and I'm on mine. rofl
Take a minute or 2 and go check out his blog The Chief has a great sense of humor and keeps me in stitches. It's one of the reasons I love him so much.

I was at work today and Beanpole was teasing me because the sanitize water was too cold for her tastes. Bosslady told her to send me to boot camp. I had to laugh. Can't you just see me in boot camp with a drill Sargent in my face screaming? What is the punishment for kicking your DS in the shins?

Yesterday I whined about having found grey hair. Last night at my niece's party I saw something that made me feel a little bit better. Tattoo (my brother) is 45 now. He's one of those guys everyone hates because he doesn't show his age. God I hate that about him! Well sitting there talking to him, I noticed that there was more then a little grey hair in his beard. So I took a better look at him in general. He's finally starting to show his age! It's about damn time! He still looks great. Tattoo is like the Chief in that aspect. They both get better looking the older they get. Looking in the mirror I really do dislike both of them.

Froggie (my sister) goes home today. I'm hoping to get to see her and nieces #3 and 4 before they head home. I sure miss them when they're gone....

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Breaking down and breaking apart

Hello Dearies, it's been an interesting day so far....

I didn't have to be at work until 8am, so I set my clock to 6:30 and got an extra hour of sleep....almost. There was a lot of noise and activity last night. I got woken up several times. I opened my eyes this morning and almost pissed myself with how bright it was outside. My first thought was "Oh Fuck" I over slept! I looked at the clock and sure enough it was 6:25. Fuck fuck fuck fucktty fuck! I don't have time for a shower and I'm going to be late. Then it hit me. I hadn't overslept, my alarm wasn't going off for another 5 minutes, I didn't have to be at work until 8. Damn! I could have slept another 5 minutes.

Work today started out pretty good, but by lunch time the suckiness had set it. The Ass was in one of his moods by then. He's in front yelling at me for not helping the new guy. At first I cocked my head puzzled. After getting yelled at a few times I had, had enough and started yelling back. I was running my board and helping on both of the others, and this idiot is screaming at me for not helping. One day the Ass will realize that I'm not a kid and can't be bullied. The new guy (no cool blog name for him yet) seems pretty cool and a hard worker. I was disappointed that the Stripper wasn't working in back with me until I saw I had Boobie. Boobie is very cool and into the whole DIY thing like I am.

I had talked to a woman on FB yesterday about buying some fresh blackberries from her. She brought them to work for me. Oh nomnomnom. Those were the sweetest blackberries I have ever eaten.

The MIL picked me up from work. I almost cried on the way home. I pulled down the mirror in her truck to fix my hair and found not 1, not 2, but a whole strip of grey hair in my bangs. How can this be? I'm not old. Not even close! I knew I had a few scattered over my head, but not a whole fucking lock of hair! It was all I could do not to break down and sob like a baby. The Chief says I match his beard now. Screw that! His beard is sexy and looks so good on him. Not so much on me. The urge to run (not walk) to Wal Mart and buy dye is almost overwhelming.

Tonight is my niece's graduation party. Guess who isn't going to be able to go? That's right me! My parents are sick, and I'm not sure what's wrong with my sister.

Time to pull up my big girl panties and try to find a ride.

Thank goodness for good neighbors and good friends. I now have a ride to the party. I would have been heartbroken if I had missed it.

*Another update*

So thanks to my downstairs neighbor ( I promise to walk lighter) I got to go to my niece's party for a little bit. I didn't want to stay too long. I really don't care for her father's family (I only like one of them), and the Chief hasn't been feeling very well. It was so great to get to see all 4 of my girls and my OLDer sister. I do miss her terribly. I had a nice visit with my sister, her girlfriend, my sister-in-law and her husband. I must say I have the prettiest nieces in the world. I can't believe how grown up they all are. Niece #1 lives with her boyfriend and is a cosmetologist. Niece #2 just graduated and wants to be a chef. Niece #3 is almost 16 and an awesome artist. Niece #4 is a dancer. I miss the days I had to change their diapers, but I'm so very proud of them!

So now I'm home, the Chief and kids are eating a very late dinner, and I'm thinking it's almost time to lay down watch some Lost with the Chief and get my snuggle time. Damn, but 5:30 comes early!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Experimenting gone very very wrong!

Hello Dearies, Madwoman here to tell you about my day....

So today was my day off. Yay me right? Wrong! There was laundry to get done (guess what I forgot after 2 loads?) dishes still need done, and the floors needed cleaning. I did vacuum the kids' rooms. Yay I accomplished something. Then I got bored....

I had agreed to watch Coupon Lady's kids. They aren't BAD kids, but they are kids. Mixing my kids with any other kids just makes for mayhem. Then you mix in the tiny terrorist terrier, 3 cats with very bad manners, the Chief and me (bored).
The 4 kids were finally playing fairly quietly. (I had threatened naps the next time they started screaming) They get along great despite (or because of) the age difference. My crotch fruit are 10 and 12. The visiting fruit were 3 and 4.
So I Facebooked for a while (boring) then I web-surfed (boring), looked for something to watch on Netflix (boring). Great now what? During my surfing I found a cute page from Martha Stewart that I had bookmarked. Bath bombs....hmmmm. Not so boring. I rummaged through my kitchen for the supplies. Great I have everything. So I sit at the table and start poking around experimenting. (not so boring) I mix everything like Martha says to. I start spraying the mixture with colored Witch Hazel. (fun) I spray and mix, mix and spray and get the crap to look like I think it should and start shoving it into my moulds. Well, did you know that bath bombs are NOT supposed to puff up in the molds. CRAP! So after the first disaster I move on to the next batch. My house starts smelling like heaven. I'm in bliss....(not bored).
I am so lucky the Chief doesn't complain when I'm experimenting. I am good to clean up after myself. Sometimes my experimenting turns out. I have box after box of soap, lotion bars and lip balm to prove it. But this time it was a big fat FAIL! Batch 2 won't come out of the moulds. Fuck fuck fucktty fuck! So now I have 3 containers of great smelling bath bomb powder. WTF? So, thank you Martha for the cute page but I have to say....Fuck Martha Stewart! My house smells great, but my kitchen looks like a cokehead sneezed. My left hand is a pretty shade of pink/purple raspberry. My nose is burning from the powder. And I, my Dearies, I'm going to go take a bath with my failed bath bomb powder and go to the store. (bored again)

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Honey I'm home....

Hello Dearies! Madwoman here.

So it's been a while since I've blogged, a long while. So much has gone on and The Chief introduced me to Blogger, so I thought I'd give it a poke or 2.

I wrote this out earlier at work....So right now I'm sitting at Burger Hell writing this. Yes I'm writing with pen and paper. WTF? This shit sucks!!

The Ass came into work early today. My day was going so good before that. So far all he's said to me was go on break. Unfortunately I know he'll be bitching soon enough. This morning started out good. We had a good crew including Lil' Bit, Beanpole, Popper and Breadboy. (he's such a sweetie) We were so busy too. I couldn't keep up with the eggs. Beanpole was making the sandwiches while I made the other stuff.

Ok, so let's update a little bit about The Tribe....

The Chief has been in the hospital twice the past year. I'm so worried he's going to lose his foot. They removed 2 infected bones last July. He's been complaining he's a "house dad" now. I've been working days so he gets the kids on and off the bus (yay summer school) and does the dishes. I still won't let him anywhere near the laundry. Chief and I have been together over 4 years now. Sometimes it feels like he's always been there. I love him more now then I ever have. He's so good to me.

The Bird made Honor Roll this past year. He's damn near as tall as I am. That boy is as smart as a whip. I love his sense of humor! He cracks me up daily.

What can I say about The Midget? She's such a mess and so much like her mother. She makes me shake my head and laugh. I swear she's part mermaid. That kid could spend hours in the tub.

The Boy graduated! I'm so proud of him. After all we've been through I didn't think I'd ever see him walk he stage. He's still living with the Others. They're in Branson checking out the college there. Fingers crossed he gets in!

The Squealer will be 15 in a week or so. I can't believe what a young woman she's growing up to be. I'm still not sure where all the parenting lines are with her yet, so I just keep my mouth shut most days. Oh....did I mention that not only is she growing taller, she's growing body parts that make the Chief squirm? Teehee

Well my hand is numb....again and the Ass is giving me dirty looks. I guess break is over.

So I did remember to type up what I had written at work. The Ass was in a pretty good mood and didn't give me too hard of a time today. He did try to set me up so he could yell at me. I just batted my eyes and smiled at him. I really do have a good time working with Breadboy in the kitchen. The Ass even came back and helped us a little. My stupid ass grabbed a 10-12lb fry basket and flipped it over into the bin with my right hand. I damn near pissed myself when the pain shot up my arm. Seems the Madwoman has Carpal Tunnel in both wrists. I had been wrapping them at night, but the pain had left....until today. Fuck fuck fucktty fuck!

I brought the Chief a snack. He was in a pretty good mood. He was in an even better mood when he remember I was off tomorrow.

Plans for tomorrow are running the vacuum and steam cleaning the hallway. Oh hell (/facepalm) I forgot to tell you we moved. We're living in a small 2 bedroom apartment in Warrenton. I'm totally in love with our new place! I have pictures of the crotch fruit on the walls, and plans on making plaques with their pictures tomorrow. It's so nice being this close to the MIL, Squealer and my parents. I'm no more then 2-3 blocks from my parents and can drop in and check up on Pops. His health hasn't been the greatest. Ma has been such a trooper taking care of him. The MIL lives about 4 miles from us. She's awesome and picks me up from work so I don't have to walk in this heat. She runs me around town anytime I need something. How did I get this lucky? Hell I think after the MILs in the past I deserve this one!

I guess if I keep hiding down here in the laundry room the Chief is gonna get cranky and come looking for me. It's also coming up on dinner time and when the crotch fruit get hungry all hell breaks loose!