Sunday, June 24, 2012

Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is dead, pay me in ice cream

Good evening Dearies....

I had an unexpected visitor tonight. I was getting ready to make dinner when the Boy knocked on my door. I hadn't seen or heard from him in a week! I was having with drawls. He walks in and announces "Guess who moved?" That's right, the Boy now lives 2-3 blocks from me! I'm one happy momma.

So the Chief, Boy and I sit down the talk. Seems the Wicked Witch threw the Boy out this weekend because he didn't want to go to the college she picked out for him. Let's backtrack here for a minute.

For those of you who don't know, the Boy got into trouble about 3 years ago. (my stars has it been that long already?) He was locked up for a while, then had to move in with the Others. The Others are his sperm donor's parents.

So the Wicked Witch took the Boy to Branson to look at the college. The Boy said it was a nice place, but didn't want to go to a school that shoved religion down your throat. It's his choice. When he told the Wicked Witch. she got her panties in a wad and told him to move out. Now this is the same woman that has done everything under the sun to take my kids away from me, ever since I left Deadbeat. She did manage to get the Boy from me. Well not from me, but she did her best. Now because he doesn't like the college of HER choice she threw him out.

What did she expect taking in a 16 year old boy? Did she think she was going to "raise" him? Yes, in fact she did and boy was she ever wrong. Thing is, I already raise the Boy. He is MY child. I am the only person he ever had, ever. I was the only person who was there for him growing up. (until I met Chief)  She took him in her house thinking she was going to change him, mould him into the "perfect" son, just like Deadbeat. Sorry Witchy-poo that's my baby boy. Any of you who have met the Boy know he is my mini-me.

So the Wicked Witch threw my son out. Awesome! Wonderful!

She couldn't have given me a better present. See.....the Wicked Witch and the Others have made no effort to see the Midget or Bird since Christmas eve. That tells me they don't want anything to do with the little spawn. I no longer have to deal with that woman. She no longer controls when I get to see the Boy, so I no longer have to kiss her fake ass. I'm sorry (not really) but there is nothing in my divorce that says I have to let her see my crotch fruit. Deadbeat moved to WV to avoid child-support, he's not here to come pick up the kids and take them to see the Others. Are you getting what I'm saying here?

Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead!!!!

While the Boy was here I sent Midget to take a shower. She comes out and I go over the mother list....
Me: Did you wash your hair?
Midget: Yes.
Me: Did you use shampoo?
Midget:  Yes 
Me: Did you wash your body?
Midget: Yes 
Me: Did you use soap?
Midget: No, I used shampoo.
UGH! I sent her back in to wash using soap. I can hear her in there splashing while I'm getting Bird, Chief and myself ice cream, so I go check. There are about 6 inches of suds on the bottom of the tub. UGH! She had used half a bottle of shampoo playing. I tell her to turn the water on rinse off and get out, and go back to my ice cream. The Midget does as I said and goes in her room to dry off and get dressed, then came out for her ice cream.....
Midget: Where's my ice cream?
Me: Remember when I told you I couldn't afford for you to use all the soap and shampoo playing?
Midget: (dropping her head) Yes.
Me: Well from now on you are going to pay me every time you waste something like the soap and shampoo. Tonight you will pay me in ice cream, next time you are scrubbing the tub.

The look on her face was priceless. She knew she had been had.

Remember youngest crotch fruit, I was born, but I wasn't born last night and you can't pull one over on your ole mom.

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