If you're grossed out easily you might want to stop reading now....
Yesterday was a day to end all days. It started out with me finding that Bird had puked all over the carpet in his room. Wonderful! A sick kid to start my day. I left him in bed and went to get ready for work.
For a guy, Bird has a very weak stomach. Anything spicy or heavy will cause him to throw up. He also has chronic constipation. So if he's constipated he'll throw up. So me waking up to puked on carpet is not a biggie. Wipe up (cover with a towel) the spot and break out the steamer when I get home. See no biggie, right?
Oh no not this time. Not the time I decide to go ahead and go to work.
Work was pretty good right up til the time the phone rang. Beanpole hands me the phone with a very upset Chief on the other end. Seems Bird didn't just have an upset tummy....he was sick!
Chief is fit to be tied. He keeps telling me Bird exploded all over the place. I pretty much write it off and tell him I'll try to get out of work. I could use an extra day of rest.
It doesn't take long for Chief to call back again. Not only is Bird puking, he's shitting his brains out. (I think I cleaned them up when I got home later)
When I do get to go on break, Chief demands I come home. I go inside and tell Boss how bad Bird really is, and that if Chief calls again I need to take Bird to the ER.
Halfway through my day, I find myself rushing out the door and damn near running home to take care of my baby.
Mom, the Boy and Chatty went with us to the ER. Poor Bird was so pale.
After about 2 hours we were sent to Cardinal Glennon in St Louis. While at the childrens hospital I learned something I hadn't known before....a child with explosive diarrhea can shit on you from 3 feet away. While cleaning Bird up, he farted and shit all down my leg and shoe from 3 feet away. This is 3 feet people! 3 feet! Thankfully the nurses brought me scrubs.
After several hours Bird was released and we sat in the waiting room until Chief got there. I really wish he had been feeling better as we left. It was both of our first time to watch a helicopter take off.
An hour long trip home, grab some McD's, hug and kiss the Boy and thank him for helping, pick up Midget from the Parental Figure's, stuff my face with nasty greasy food, and crash!
Today, I've spent my morning scrubbing the toilet and tub. Cleaning all the puke and shit off the bed, walls (yes walls) and carpets in Bird's room. I still have a mountain of shit covered laundry I need to wash....sigh